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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26848294">I'd Swallow the Moon and the Stars</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardustedknuckles/pseuds/stardustedknuckles'>stardustedknuckles</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Beauyasha College AU [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Critical Role (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Collar, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Kinktober 2020, Modern AU, Spanking, Therapeutic spanking, and a gf who will hit you if you ask nicely, and also extremely relatable family issues, but like, but purely for aesthetic, leather cuffs, photographer yasha, the tender and horny combo I am quickly staking my empire on, this is very soft, you got cuddling, you got soft lesbians, you got sweaters</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 16:20:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,842</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26848294</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardustedknuckles/pseuds/stardustedknuckles</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>They have a signal for hard days, and Beau uses it. Yasha's more than happy to take over for a while. Prompt fill for Kinktober day 5.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Beauregard Lionett/Yasha</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Beauyasha College AU [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2024825</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>214</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I'd Swallow the Moon and the Stars</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>It took me 5 days to admit I am pretty much incapable of short fics. And if I'm putting more than 1k into a prompt, it gets to be its own fic. This was kinktober day 5: sweaters/spanking.</p><p>That said, it is just a prompt fill so...it might show in some ways.</p><p>It's hard to think of a prompt that asks more loudly for my favored brand of tender/horny.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The cold rain had lulled to a persistent drizzle by the time the door unlocked, signaling Beau's return. Yasha looked up eagerly from her computer at the kitchen table fading almost immediately into a concerned frown as she got a good look at her. The rain had been lashing the windows a half hour ago, and looking at Beau it was clear that she had been caught in the worst of it. She was soaked to the skin and shivering just a little as she pushed the door closed behind her and carefully peeled her backpack from her shoulders on the small rectangle of tile that quickly became carpet after just a few feet. There was a large and semi-faded brown stain that started from her belly button and disappeared into the wet denim of her jeans.</p><p> </p><p>"Are you alright?" Yasha pushed up from the table and went to her, putting her hands on Beau's cold, damp cheeks and kissing her forehead. Beau's eyes closed and her shoulders slumped a little.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah. It just got really bad while I was walking across campus to get to the parking lot and I forgot my umbrella." She gestured to the waterlogged stain. "And that happened, and it was still really hot." She took a breath and looked Yasha in the eye. "It's been that kind of day."</p><p> </p><p>Oh.</p><p> </p><p>Yasha's breath caught a little. That kind of day? Beau didn't leave her hanging - she'd clearly come in ready. "Will you help me?"</p><p> </p><p>The small hitch Yasha's chest melted, spilling outwards in a glow that coaxed her face into a soft smile. "Okay." She rubbed her hands along Beau's upper arms to try and transfer some warmth and feeling back into them. "Let's get you in the shower," she said, "and then you can come lay across my lap and tell me about it."</p><p> </p><p>Beau flushed just a little and looked away, and Yasha loved her for it - for initiating this knowing it was difficult for her and trusting Yasha to take her through it. "Yeah," she murmured. "That sounds good." She let Yasha bend to untie and work her boots off one by one, followed by her socks. She considered wrapping Beau in a towel before hauling her across the carpet, then dismissed it and led Beau by the hand to their bathroom. Beau came quietly; she had set this in motion, and her role now was to let Yasha take care of her.</p><p> </p><p>Yasha pulled the shower curtain open and quickly turned the water to warm, keeping it a little cooler than normal to account for Beau's chilled skin. Beau herself was waiting patiently a few feet behind, and Yasha leaned in to kiss her cheek before reaching for the hem of her stained shirt to peel the cold, waterlogged fabric from her skin. Beau put her hands up compliantly as Yasha pulled it over her head and stood still while Yasha unhooked her bra and unwound her hair so that it fell in a messy, dripping wave.</p><p> </p><p>Yasha quickly shucked off her own t-shirt and pants, and after they'd gotten Beau out of her wet jeans and underwear she stepped into the shower and pulled her in gently after her.</p><p> </p><p>It was peaceful in the dim light, and Beau's muscles relaxed by degrees as Yasha took her time cleaning every inch of skin until finally, her head rested contentedly on Yasha's shoulder as she worked the lather through Beau's soft brown hair. She rubbed circles behind Beau's ears with her thumbs, smiling at the way it made her melt further. She could stay in here like this all afternoon, but they were just warming up and as much as Yasha loved this part, Beau needed what came after.</p><p> </p><p>She toweled them off quickly, giggling at the way Beau scrunched up her face when her hair was rubbed, and then she led Beau to sit on the edge of the bed and wait while she pawed through her clothes for maximum comfort. It was a toss-up between Yasha's oversized and faded Lacrosse t-shirt or the cable-knit cream sweater, but with the rain coming down again in full force outside, the sweater won out. It fit Yasha well, so it wasn't as large on Beau as other things of hers tended to be, but there was enough fabric left at the ends for Beau to make absentminded sweater paws and wave them back and forth, unaware of Yasha watching her and smiling softly as she threw on a soft pair of pajama pants and the oversized t-shirt.</p><p> </p><p>Finally, Yasha got Beau's attention and held up the leather cuffs and collar. "Up to you," she said, and Beau nodded with a shy smile. Her eyes followed Yasha's fingers as she pushed the sleeves gently up her forearms and secured a cuff on each wrist, eyes fluttering closed for a moment when she was done and Yasha laid her hands gently in her lap. She opened them again as Yasha knelt on the bed next to her and softly pulled her hair over her shoulder and out of the way. Beau inhaled slowly as the collar touched the front of her throat, and on the exhale she was completely pliant in Yasha's hands.</p><p> </p><p>"Good girl," Yasha murmured, which coaxed a soft moan from Beau's lips. "Are you ready to tell me about today?" Beau sat up a little as her beautiful mind collected itself to process the day with her. She'd never get tired of this, she thought, being the altar to which Beau could bring the stresses of her day and lay them down in the light, where the cobwebs of perception and experience were blown off in the light that came from articulating events out loud.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah," she said. The tension was gathering in her muscles again, but still a far cry from the rigid posture she'd come through the door with. That's how it went. Ease her down, back up a little, and then all the way down.</p><p> </p><p>Yasha scooted backwards so that her back was against the wall, her legs in front of her, and patted her thighs. The metal of Beau's cuffs and collar clinked softly as she stretched up to pull herself up over Yasha and lower herself gently down. The sweater's hem stopped right at the dimples above Beau's ass, and Yasha dipped a finger under the fabric to trace the dips in her skin before drawing lazy patterns across the spread of her ass and thighs. Gooseflesh prickled in her wake, and she felt Beau shudder just a little as her hands stretched to grasp the edge of the bed. She was in position - they could begin.</p><p> </p><p>"Tell me what's bothering you," Yasha said.</p><p> </p><p>Beau took a few more moments to work herself up. Yasha knew how this went.  She would be shouldering through her embarrassment, reminding herself that Yasha was here because she wanted to be, because she enjoyed this - enjoyed her. She'd take time to set aside the feeling that the day's trivialities weren't worth mentioning, that she had nothing to complain about. She would ground herself. All Yasha had to do was let her, and facilitate the release when it was over.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm going to have to take the late grade hit on my essay," she said finally. Yasha's hand continued its drifting over  Beau's skin as she waited patiently. "There was some asshole in my seat at lecture, which isn't really a big deal, just." Yasha paused. "It made it hard to focus on class and that sucked." She seemed finished for the moment.</p><p> </p><p>"How many?" Yasha asked quietly.</p><p> </p><p>Beau's voice was even. "Just one. It was more of a scene set than anything major." Yasha nodded, lined up, and brought her hand down with a satisfying impact. Beau jumped a little, her breathing catching just a little. Yasha resumed touching as the blood took its time rising to the surface.</p><p> </p><p>"You saw the coffee stain," Beau said. Yasha said nothing, kept tracing. "It was hot as a motherfucker and I couldn't jump out of the way in time because I had to get my notebook out of the way." She breathed in, back out. "Another one of those things that normally wouldn't matter, but it made me feel slow and clumsy."</p><p> </p><p>Yasha could tell she was working up to something, and she wasn't surprised. As much as these sessions left them both feeling closer and cleaner, in Beau's case, vulnerability still wasn't Beau's favored terrain. It had taken them a great deal of trial and error and consulting of Beau's therapist to develop this ritual they had now. Whatever had happened today, it had to have made her feel worse than the idea of asking Yasha to do this for her.</p><p> </p><p>"How many?"</p><p> </p><p>"One," said Beau, "but make it good."</p><p> </p><p>They were all good. Beau didn't come here to be treated with kid gloves - she'd resent it, in fact. Yasha didn't comment. Beau rocked forward with the impact, bottom lip between her teeth. Yasha's palm tingled.</p><p> </p><p>Beau didn't wait for the next one - Yasha knew before she heard it that this was what had brought her here. "I got a text from my mom."</p><p> </p><p>Everything in Yasha wanted to freeze, but she forced her hand to keep moving. A text from Beau's mom was never anything good, and it was most often just a ferrying of a message from her dad.</p><p> </p><p>"What did it say?"</p><p> </p><p>Deep breath, quick words. "Your little brother misses you and so do we. Can we expect you for Thanksgiving?"</p><p> </p><p>It was situations like this that drove home Yasha's role in this whole scenario. The part of her that was Beau's girlfriend wanted to bundle her up immediately, bury her in a kiss and turn on a movie and forget about this with her. Or make an ill-advised phone call. Or a hundred other things - she just wanted to <em>do </em>something about the thing making Beau feel small.</p><p> </p><p>But Yasha's thoughts weren't why Beau was here, in this position. It wasn't why she'd asked Yasha to be in hers. This was not a two-way conversation. It would be, later, but her job for now was to absorb and release - even if it didn't feel like enough, it was the action Beau wanted her to take.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm listening," she said.</p><p> </p><p>Beau continued readily- she must have been thinking about this all the way home. "I just felt like shit about it. And it doesn't seem to matter that I know that was the point." This was going to be a three, Yasha knew, and Beau knew it too because she was working herself up as she went on, gathering in all of the diffuse pieces to let them drop. "I fucking miss him too, but if I go I'm gonna be a wreck for a week and if I don't, they'll just use that to prove I don't care about him."</p><p> </p><p>Yasha was reminded that the placement of their bodies was no accident - if Beau could see the helplessness in Yasha's face, it would start a feedback loop of pity and resentment. She waited.</p><p> </p><p>"He's gonna grow up thinking the same shitty things they made me believe," Beau went on, "but instead of making him think he's not good enough, they're gonna tell him it's me. That it was always me, and that he could have had a big sister if I had just listened-" her body clenched, and Yasha could see her fingers paling where they gripped the bed. "And it's not fair because it's still me they're talking to. They got their son and still! All they can do think about is what a fuck-up I turned out to be."</p><p> </p><p>It was getting harder to just listen. Yasha knew what Beau needed to hear, and the compulsion to say it tugged at her hard. She took a deep breath. "Is there more?"</p><p> </p><p>Beau scoffed. "How much time do you have?" Yasha just waited, watching the fabric of the sweater rising and falling across Beau's back. "I know I'm supposed to focus on me here," she said thickly. "But it's not fair to either of us."</p><p> </p><p>"You are here with me. I can only take care of you."</p><p> </p><p>Beau exhaled for a long time. "Yeah," she said finally. "It's just me."</p><p> </p><p>Yasha swallowed. "How many?" She knew the answer, but this was part of the trade. No fewer than one, no more than three.</p><p> </p><p>"Three," Beau said quietly.</p><p> </p><p>Yasha tightened the arm over Beau's back - a comfort, not a restraint - and let the first blow fall. Beau's face dropped into the sheets with a quick intake of breath, holding on tight. Her back strained against Yasha's arm on the second as she fought to push herself up on her forearms, to no avail. Yasha had her.</p><p> </p><p>The third landed in the same spot the first had fallen, and Beau broke with a cry and let go of the bed to curl inwards.</p><p> </p><p>Yasha had known it was coming and immediately shifted her hold so she could gather the ball that was Beau close to her chest and fold her own legs into a lap beneath her. Beau's arms went reflexively around Yasha's neck as she cried into her t-shirt, soft and broken sobs that pulled from the anger and hurt in Beau and washed it out of her.</p><p> </p><p>A few minutes passed, and then Beau's crying quieted to sniffling and her breathing slowly evened out to normal. She finally pulled back to meet Yasha's eyes, and Yasha's heart seized at the open trust and quiet resolution in her expression.</p><p> </p><p>"Say the words," she whispered. It was a check-in for her as much as it was for Beau. Beau didn't lie to her, but she had been known to lie to herself and it was up to Yasha at this point to gauge her state.</p><p> </p><p>Beau maintained eye contact through the whole thing this time, voice steady. "Feelings are important information, not directions." Her therapist's words, not Yasha's, but gods it made Yasha feel secure to know that Beau had someone steering her to a better version of herself.</p><p> </p><p>"Good girl." Her brow was relaxed under Yasha's lips as she snuggled closer with a contented sound. Yasha's hand ran up and down Beau's inner thigh- soothing, not arousing, as she relaxed from Yasha the arbiter of Beau's processing into Yasha the girlfriend with a long breath.</p><p> </p><p>Beau's fingers came to stroke softly at Yasha's temple. "You okay?"</p><p> </p><p>Yasha smiled, a little shyly. "I am. I just have a lot of thoughts for when we talk about it later."</p><p> </p><p>Beau grinned, a quick, bright thing that always left Yasha feeling a little loopy on the inside with the knowledge that she had been the cause - been trusted to make that expression possible again. "Me too," she said, "but no thoughts right now." Her voice was teasing as she reminded Yasha of the hour-long cooldown built into the process. No fucking, no ruminating, no being alone.</p><p> </p><p>"No thoughts for now," she agreed, smiling. "Hot chocolate sounds nice though."</p><p> </p><p>Beau wiggled a little. "Netflix, hold the chill?"</p><p> </p><p>Yasha laughed at that. "I can't think of a better way to spend a rainy day."</p><p> </p><p>Beau hmmmed happily in agreement. "Oh," she said sitting up.</p><p> </p><p>Yasha blinked, bewildered. "What?"</p><p> </p><p>Beau's eyes danced. "I bet the sweater over my bruised ass looks really nice through a camera."</p><p> </p><p>Yasha's face flushed just a little. She had an excellent point. She was also trying to get a rise out of Yasha.</p><p> </p><p>It was working, too.</p><p> </p><p>She reached out and touseled Beau's hair until she pulled away laughing. "I'll have you know that your ass is literally always spectacular," Yasha teased.</p><p> </p><p>"Oh I know," Beau said breezily over her shoulder as she pulled herself across the sheets to stand up off the side of the bed. She stood in front of the full-length mirror on the back of the door and twisted to see her reflection. "Damn," she said. "Those are really nice."</p><p> </p><p>Yasha made a little mock bow and followed Beau off the bed to stand over her and kiss her. Beau made a little "mmph" sound when Yasha kneaded her ass that made her chest tighten for a minute, and she pulled away to smirk at the dazed expression on Beau's face.</p><p> </p><p>"My camera's in the kitchen," she said all nonchalance.</p><p> </p><p>"Oh sorry," Beau managed to sound mocking, though it was a little undercut by the lack of breath. "Am I in your way?"</p><p> </p><p>Yasha considered. "Well you were." Beau yelped and laughed as Yasha picked her up and threw her over her shoulder, using her free hand to tug the door open and take them both down the hall.</p><p> </p><p>Because she was right, that was going to be an excellent photo, and she loved nothing more than the thought of taking it while Beau attended to the milk in the saucepan.</p><p> </p><p>Two birds and all of that.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Title from "When We're High" by LP. I've had better titles. That's alright.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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